This blog is going nowhere fast … much like I feel I’m doing when I get behind the wheel of my car and get on the road to anywhere in Vientiane. Below is a photo of my speedometer struggling painfully to reach 30 km/hour … this is the infuriatingly slow speed at which I’m normally forced to drive while stuck behind one of the myriad forms of transport going absurdly slow, while the one sentence to the Friends theme song, “It’s like I’m always stuck in second gear”, plays repeatedly in my head (and at times I find myself humming it).
We’ve been back here for nearly 6 months and one of the biggest adjustments for me has been “relaxing” into the pace of life here. A recording of me while driving would likely play back some of the following:
- [when I’m stuck behind someone going 10 km/hour] “Come on dude, really?”
- [when I’m in a hurry or just annoyed] “OMG, are you [*] kidding me?”
- [when so many different forms of transportation are weaving and crossing in front of me] “Wow, seriously? Where [*] am I?
- [to motorbike drivers] “You’re crazy, seriously, you’re going to [*] kill yourself.”
The asterisks are obviously where I insert an expletive so long as my children are not in the car (thank goodness I control this as my 3-year-old has even started to say “Come on dude” when we are stuck behind someone.). Apparently driving here brings out some deeply seeded anxiousness in me as if this monster from living most of my life in the rat race of the Northeast U.S. cannot simply relax and go with the flow (not to mention it’s considered very rude here to beep your horn at someone – can you imagine?). In one word, the pace is SLOW.
It was actually during my first trip to Bangkok with Chris in 2001 that I noticed the slower pace. We took the BTS – Bangkok’s elevated “sky train” (loht fai fah) to different places around the city and I asked him why when we got off the train no one was shoving and pushing us like after exiting a New York subway. He then told me about sabai sabai (pronounced “suh-bye”). It’s the Thai approach to the day: relax, take it easy. You’ll get to where you are going and there is no need to rush there.
I am not sure what the cultural background of sabai sabai is, but after a couple years in Bangkok I believe there are various practical motivations behind it:
- to avoid sweating in the god-forsaken heat so as to avoid being damp & smelly by the time you reach your destination;
- to be able, as a woman or katoey (a, eh-hem, “he she”), to wear 6-inch high heels even on public transport and even to walk on horrendous sidewalks;
- to be able to gawk at all the food stalls and various items for sale along nearly every sidewalk in the city; and
- to be able to text message at all times, even when driving a motorbike.
It’s pretty amazing, really, to watch sabai sabai in action. Somehow the tiniest person takes up the ENTIRE sidewalk as she slowly strolls from one side of the walkway to the other with absolutely no regard for the people trying to pass her. She is usually texting or talking on her phone while looking at the food stalls lining the sidewalk. No attempt is made to stay to one side of the walk or move closer to the food stall for others to pass. Sabai sabai.
And the slow pace extends up to Vientiane where we drive at an absurdly slow pace sometimes, especially when stuck behind a motorbike driver who can’t seem to stay in a straight line in the slow lane. Instead, like the lady on the sidewalk in Bangkok, he drives in a lovely “S” pattern while he also texts or talks on his phone. During rainy season, he also somehow holds an umbrella too. In Laos, the saying is “boh pen yang” which means “no worries” or “no problem” or “don’t worry about it”. Not quite the same as sabai sabai, but similar to the Thai saying “mai pen rai”. (For example, if you buy some fruit from a food vendor and after putting it into a plastic bag, he starts to put that plastic bag inside a second plastic bag which you’d like to avoid as part of the [losing] campaign to reduce plastic bag use in Southeast Asia, you could say “mai pen rai” in Thailand or “boh pen yang” in Laos to tell him don’t worry about the bag.)
On the road it appears that motorbike drivers here have a boh pen yang attitude towards life. They dart out from side streets without even a glance for oncoming cars (hence my fourth comment above while driving). They wiz by your car on the left as you are making a left turn and look shockingly at you if you nearly hit them as “silly you” were only looking at the oncoming traffic rather than checking your left side-view for a random motorbike. They drive as slowly as they possibly can and look around as if they are window shopping while driving. They read/send text messages and talk on their phones while driving. They drive side-by-side each other and chit-chat as they go. It’s seriously enough to drive one [Northeastern U.S.’er] mad.
When we moved from New Jersey to Vientiane in 2007, we welcomed the slow pace and easy-going attitude of the people. I’m not sure what happened but I need to find me some zen and get back to that place from whence I came out of and into what I fear is the stage just prior to road rage. Maybe I should start chanting these when I get behind the wheel:
- Sabai sabai
- boh pen yang
- mai pen rai
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